The camel in this story is my poor Hubby, and perhaps after telling you all the things he eats for lunch in my last post I was inviting this to happen. But any way this is the story.
H = Hubby M = Me
It is a Thursday evening at the end of another long week and Hubby still has to work again tomorrow and Saturday as he is an employee Mon - Fri but still runs his own business as well.
H - Honey can you get some cordial when you do the shopping.
M - What do you want cordial for?
H - I'm sick of drinking just water it would be nice to have something with a bit of flavour when I get home since I drink plain water all day at work. (Hubby drinks about 3-4 litres of water a day because of his physical job)
M- Ok but don't put it on the list cause we have some lemons so I will make you some.
H - No! Just buy it. I am sick of home made everything. Everyday it is the same healthy food in my lunch grown at home and to be honest it is becoming boring as bat sh*t.
M - Ok... but it will be cheaper if I make it and will not have artificial colours and preservatives in it, and it will be better than what I can buy.
H - Yes I am sure it will be better and cheaper but it will still be home made.
M - So what is wrong with home made all of a sudden. Thirty years ago there was no such thing as manufactured everything, if you wanted it you made it.
H - Its just boring. Every day the same things, fruit and veg, fruit and veg or left overs I just want some thing different is that ok?
M - Ok. Well what would you like me to make you for your lunches so they are not so boring? I could make some stuffed capsicums, savoury muffins, vege pasties, mini pizzas... You tell me what you want and I will make it for you.
H - No! I don't want you to make anything. It's not the point.
M - But if you are bored then tell me what would be better and I will make it.
H - Don't worry about it.
M - Well you said you were bored and I want you to be happy with your lunch so I will make you something different you just tell me what you want. Do you want me to buy you some shapes (the crackers) with the shopping?
H - No you'll get the wrong flavour
M - Well what about something else?
H - It's not the point.
M - But you said you were bored?
H - I just want to be able to have what ever I feel like on the spur of the moment. If I feel like a hamburger I want to have a hamburger, if I want to buy a packet of chips I don't want to have to think "oh I can't have that because I don't have any money"
M - What do you mean you don't have any money?
H - The ATM at the servo wouldn't give me a balance so I don't know if that developer has paid me and I have put the rest of my money into the mortgage offset account.
M - Ok well I have some money in my wallet if you want to buy your lunch tomorrow.
H - I can't. We are working in the middle of nowhere so I can't get to the shops and the boss has put his foot down about us wasting time stopping on the way so everyone can buy their lunch.
M - Have you checked on line to see if you have been paid?
H - I'll do that now.
H - Oh far out! I got paid on Monday, why didn't it show up? That stupid ATM never shows you a balance. All this time I did have money.
M - Ok, so do you want me to make something tonight for you to take tomorrow.
H - No don't worry I'll find something.
M - Look I'll get the banana cake out of the freezer and make you some devilled eggs and there are muesli bars in the pantry.
H - Thanks honey and could you make some cordial on the weekend, yours will be heaps better than the shops stuff.
M - Sure no worries.
So it turns out that homemade is better, and money worries can mask themselves and morph into other things. This was a great lesson in communication for us, it took a while but we got there in the end.
We also had a discussion about how the way we live, growing our own food, making what we can where possible (like the cordial) is not the norm for most people, although I'd like to think we were getting back there. We also talked about the pressures to conform and how it can be hard at times not to feel like you are missing out. But in the end we came to the conclusion that we wouldn't change the way we live. In fact we will keep working towards being able to do more for ourselves and become more self reliant.
We do however need to make sure we don't feel guilty about not always meeting the standards we set for ourselves.
Does this happen at your house too?
Are you hard on yourself about living up to your own expectations?